not a match!

needing something to occupy my time, i logged on my match account tonight. yup, friday night at home. shut up. after reading a few emails i'm reminded of my internet dating rules. so far they're working-- i've not been chopped up and stored in a garage freezer.

1) don't send me the exact same email you send everyone. come on, does anyone actually reply to those?
2) at least make an attempt to spell words correctly. spell checker is a beautiful invention--like caller id!
3) under no condition mention of your season pass to lagoon.
4) don't offer to send me your bank statements. wtf?

here's my favorite message tonight. because, i too am picky, which is why i'll not reply. ( i'm bitchy, get over it.)

I hafve to ask becaue sine I hae dated on match over the past 3 months these profles seem to mean nothin with the girs out in California so I have decided to look out of state for my soul mate.. My name is Todd B******, I am a great guy with a lot to offer ... Please review my profile and if I seean email in my inbox from you I know your interested... I hop so becuae I am very picky and it took me a long time to fine you... I;ll bet your worth it though....

Hugz!

Toddy B