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Friday, September 29, 2006

just another reason why i adore jen:

lily, my best friend's beautiful daughter broke her arm rollerblading. ( i swear, i had nothing to do with it!) while waiting to get her arm set jen asked lily what color she wanted. lily wanted blue, but luckily jen put a stop to this by pulling the mom card and said, "if i'm paying for this then you're getting pink"!

lily's been forced into pink since the day she came home from the hospital. i was put in charge of finding the outfit she would wear home. i bought the pinkest thing i could find, against jen's will of course.

i think it's important to force pink onto people as soon as possible!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

beef flavored connection, column 9.28.06

sounds weird, i know, but read more here!

taking note...

in an effort to avoid having to buy an airline seat belt extender, i've boycotted eating lunch out every day. it helps that since our offices moved i'm in chair restaurant land, which i hate. to avoid extra caloric intake i packed a lunch and left myself a note so i'd remember to take it.anyway, it was because of this i realized i've turned into my mother. growing up she always left herself notes: on doors, car steering wheel, purse, everywhere. i don't think it's because she's an airhead, i think she just had a lot on her mind. sure, i could be saying that to avoid the scatterbrained diagnosis. i've just got lots on my mind.

don't get me wrong, i love my mother--i just don't want to be her.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

today's what if:

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

where milli amp fuses go to die...

as much as i hate that idea of men are from mars women are from venus bullshit, i'm starting to believe in it. i took a geek field trip with the boys today to raelco, an electronics graveyard store. it's a creepy place and i am, without a doubt, the first female to have ever walked through the door. the way they looked at me was frightening, not undressing me with their eyes frightening, but "what is this person that looks and smells so much better" frightening. odd, because you would think at least one of them had seen a woman on episodes of star trek before.
this place proves to me, yet again, that men and women are very, very different--women so clearly being the superior being.

"we are a happy family!"

i found the below email in my inbox this morning from my favorite uncle:

"Your grandmother was bragging on you again this past weekend. It is such a reality check to realize my own mother wants to tell me about my “big brother’s” children and grandchildren more than she wants to talk about me and mine. Mom always did like your dad best.

Anyway, she shared the excitement of your newfound celebrity status. I told her you have always had celebrity status in my eyes, being the oldest and cutest of all the nieces and nephews you were such a new item nearly thirty years ago. I was still in high school when you came into this world. I can’t believe you now have worries regarding Crow’s Feet and Aging Eggs. Remember you have earned both. Grandma advised you have not quit your day job. I always knew you were smart. Your intelligence was obvious when you avoided that school in Provo so many years ago. Please don’t embarrass my mother, your mother, or one-eyed Daisy. It is ok to embarrass your dad and brothers."

this is the man i named my most beloved cabbage patch doll after in the 80's. all these years later i know i made the right choice naming it!

Monday, September 25, 2006

just another reason why i shouldn't be allowed to speak.

a friend from the office, angie, asked me the other day what size of bra i wore. now, i know this sounds a little odd, or maybe just a little too high school sleep-over but wait...

she had recently returned from a vacation to venezuela with all sorts of goodies, including bras; apparently they make some super-sexy bras. since her hubbie was still there she talked him into bringing some home for all her friends. (thanks mr. angie!)

i ran into the bathroom to double check my size--in the middle of this another co-worker walked in, looking at me rather strangely. after all, i did have my shirt have off and was looking at my bra tag. without thinking i said, "sorry, but i was just getting my bra size for angie's husband", and walked out. yup, i'm retarded and now the office home-wrecker. awesome.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

my first political yard sign:

it's cool. i'll always vote for an ex-punk rocker who loves lou reed enough to name a child after him.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

the newest and coolest member of my family!!

a mr. t halloween costume has been planned--nothing is cuter than baby bling!

Friday, September 22, 2006

twins separated at birth?

what do these two have in common? obviously they share dashing good looks and a similar tie collection, but there's more: a birthday.
happy birthday tommy!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

the quarterback princess

remember that movie? i do!! i totally loved it as a kid. ok, who am i kidding, i own it on vhs. jealous? you should be!

now want to know why i am suddenly interested in the sunday ticket package? read here!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Monday, September 18, 2006

alternate uses for past issues of in magazine:

apparently they make excellent door stops. i, on the other hand will be saving mine for scrapbooking purposes. i would assume they also make unsteady coffee tables at starbucks steady. it takes recycling to an all new level. thanks jb!

that scrapbooking part was a lie--i think.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

winter wonderland? not for me.

a friend invited me to visit new york with him in november. i happily agreed, but when i walked out to find snow this morning i immediately started to rethink it. i hate the cold, florida is starting to sound much better!

it's september, why am i forced to worry about winter already? when pmk walked into the office yesterday wearing a coat i couldn't help but snicker. damn my winter karma!

Friday, September 15, 2006

" save sarah"?!

OUR ‘SINGLE’ COLUMNIST--by Micheal Yount

This marks the fourth straight issue that “The Dating Years” columnist Sarah Nielson has written about the same love interest — this mystery flyboy known only as Captain America. Now, it sounds like this fella is a decent enough guy, but I’m just about ready to put up a reward for the guy who can steal Sarah’s heart away from the Capt. I’m starting to get nervous that Sarah, SLC’s most eligible bachelorette, is on the verge of falling for this guy, moving to base housing and setting up shop, permanently. Now, that’s not very compelling singles coverage. C’mon boys, save Sarah.

Want to read what he's talking about? Click here!

yuppie puppy

i've turned into one of those people. you know who i'm talking about--people who dress their pets. i didn't mean for it to happen, it just sorta did. my sis-in-law, holli, gave daisy a shirt a few months ago. i packed it away somewhere and forgot about it, until today. daisy has nasty allergies and scratches her belly until it bleeds. DDDD-isgusting! so i slipped her yuppie shirt on before leaving the house, hoping for a protective layer to keep her from scratching her guts out. don't worry, i flipped up her collar--my dog is a total frat brat!

ben went to have a nap at my house and called in complete and utter disgust. he thought i had gone completely mad, telling me i barely have time to dress myself in the morning, let alone a dog. (welcome to the world of over-sleepers.) i explained why daisy was in clothes. he agreed that it made sense, then told me there was no way in hell he was letting her out in a pink shirt. that's fine, i understand the embarrassment. i explained he actually could take her shirt off, at that moment we realized how creepy that sounded. needless to say, i'll be finding another remedy for her itchy belly.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

what a croc

steve irwin's only been gone a week, and already we have a clearance on reptiles in salt lake. weird.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

tip for the day:

when turning your pawn shop into an online store think long and hard (no pun intended) about the name you choose. just a thought...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Monday, September 11, 2006

not exactly the ideal tribute...

i put a flag in pmk's office ages ago to prove a point with ak. you know, the whole 'why do liberals hate america' thing. which for the record is completely untrue--we hate dubbya, not america, duh.

sorry, i digress.

pmk decided to display the flag in remembrance of 911. however, i think he ensured a string of bad luck for all of us by breaking the flag instead.just remember, pmk, it's the thought that counts!

and suddenly i'm craving fried food

some new friends took me to lunch this weekend. this is the back of the car i was chauffeured around in. needless to say, they're my new favorite people!

Friday, September 08, 2006

babies and bux!

thursday nights have long been reserved for coffee club with my girls. last night, however, was a little out of the ordinary: the venue was mo'bux (orem) and in attendance were the twins, not the girls. when i was putting them to bed last night they wanted to go to starbucks, when i was getting them ready this morning they wanted to go to starbucks. i'm highly confident i've created an addiction. my job here is done!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

an airhead among us

at lunch today i commented on the large number of flags being flown throughout the city attributing it to 911-- when from the back seat i hear pmk pipe in, "when is september 11?"

pmk, oddly enough september 11 just so happens to be on september 11th this year. weird, i know.

coffee club meet fight club

interested in more captain america stories? read here!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

auntie bellum

i have been trusted with the twins while my brother and his wife are on vacation. this means living in utah county for the week, i can live with it knowing there is an end in sight. what i can't live with is the fact i can't find the damn starbucks or the fact my niece wears crocs. i've almost forgiven her because they are pink and hello kitty, however, they are still crocs.i let the kids sleep with me, which might be the reason i so badly needed coffee this morning. they woke me up a few times wanting drinks and other such "necessities". at three am when hannah woke up requesting to watch a movie i told her it was still dark and we needed to go back to sleep so auntie sarah doesn't need a hysterectomy, thankfully she obliged, though this morning as i was getting her ready she kept singing a shortened version of the word: "sterectomy" over, and over again.

this one's gonna be hard to explain to my brother.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

why road rage scares me

i immediately stopped tailgating him after seeing this.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

boys who suck!

read here for my dirty little secret!

Friday, September 01, 2006

where everyday is flag day.

i detoured through a sandy neighborhood today on my way back from yoshi-bux. i've been forced there before--if i remember correctly, jb dragged us excited about the display of patriotism.

we counted 20 flags displayed in front of homes. i made gagging noises while jb congratulated himself for living in a city which so proudly houses republicans. i think the city needs to rename it repub ave. it's only fair to warn the public.