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Sunday, January 28, 2007

more than you need to know, but...

my shower drain has a devil baby gestating inside of it. that is, in my mind, the only explanation why it remains clogged after pouring drano down it every day for an entire week.

rather than fight it, i have given up.

i now shower with water to my ankles, but today i threw in a pink rubber ducky and call it a sh'bath.

go ahead. judge me.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

What ever happened to the "invest in my chest"?

Is it a done deal?

Sarah Bellum said...

anon: the fund is still there, but $50 does not a boob job make. sad.

Anonymous said...

Sarah, you should be posting more than your drain today. I want to know how the movie went with birthday Ryan. Not to sound uncompassionate about your drain problem but there are other things to be addressed today.

Try another brand than Drano.

Anonymous said...

There's a contraption called "ZIP IT" or something... it's very similar to a deadly weapon and could beused as such if needed. It is essentially a long plastic rod with "Teeth" on it that you stick into your drain and then pull out... the teeth grab the devil baby and all of its entrails, etc. and drag it out, then you throw it away. It's quicker than drano, no chemicals to worry about... but... You do have to actually look at the remains of your devil baby which might not be super pleasant.

SuperHero said...

Chemicals like Drano can corode pipes and will cause further and future damage.
Go with a drain snake (like Zip It, that was just mentioned) and root and abort that devil baby.
Then fling it out and try and hit a passing car with it.

Anonymous said...

You're going to have to zip it. It's going to be so gross. Wear gloves, and goggles, and maybe some kind of mask.

Anonymous said...

Hey hey, it was just a movie, no 'official' date. (cool movie too)

But from the 'other Ryan's' side, it was fun! .. Sarah did raz me about being a jerk in a couple previous comments (rightly so). .. I tried to think of something column worthy, but I suck. At the whole 'social' thing.

:(

Anonymous said...

Yeah, basically, if the Drano isn't working then that means, um... the Drano isn't working. It might be time to sleep with a plumber and get that drain cleared, if you know what I mean.

Also Drano is how you you say, "hard on" backwards.

Anonymous said...

I wish I were the bubbles in little Sarah's tub.

Can you just imagine the special places I could rub.

Anonymous said...

Did you try a plunger? I know, it's a stupid question, but for a long time, I didn't know that a plunger could be used on something other than a toilet.

Anonymous said...

Cute pink rubber ducky.

Anonymous said...

Sarah,
If you have a drain with 2 small screws on the sides loosen them and below you will find a small hair ball about the size of a small cat. Take a clothes hanger unwind and with a small hook grab the cat & pull, cover nose & mouth before throwing up or gagging, what ever you do, don't let it drip on you. For a grande, 2 pump mocha, you may talk me into it.

Sarah Bellum said...

anon: i can't post it, what if i want to write a column about it. besides, ryan replied to you.

aimee: um, i need a boy for that. i am not good with entrails of any kind. though, it sounds nice to have around in case of a burglar.

superhero: why does everyone but me know about a 'zip it'??

anon: i don't do gross. i'm a princess.

ryan: you deserve to be teased. that's what i do best.

pete: um, no. have you ever seen a hot plumber? i didn't think so.

stupid, fat retarded person: i'm sure you're not any of those, but just in case please don't get in my tub ;)!

sofi: pmk said the same thing. i'm going to buy one tonight. i can't bring myself to use the zip thing, it sounds too gross for me.

anon: deal. i'd even buy you a treat too!!

Sarah Bellum said...

crap i forgot you jen! sorry.

yeah, the duck is totally cute. wonder who gave it to me???

Anonymous said...

Sarah,
I'll deal with the small cat in your drain, no treat required. I will require a zip lock bag to dispose of the hair ball. The only reason I even suggested taking on the assignment was to releive a princess from such a messy chore, we'll make arrangements soon, the thought of your feet in that water is tuning my stomach.