I went to a BBQ last night at a friend’s house. These are some of my favorite boys around, so much in fact when they call me bitch I just smile and get them another beer. Because really isn’t that what a good bitch does?Feeling guilty that I wasn’t helping, I walked into the kitchen and offered assistance to the pretty boy with dimples. He requested I grab an onion out of the friends and cut it for the burgers. A woman in the kitchen, who I didn’t know, said “Oh, I’ll do it—she probably doesn’t even know how to cut an onion.” I don’t know why but this totally hurt my feelings. She was pretty accurate, since I’ve not cut an onion in years, but really how difficult can it be? I smiled politely and quickly left the kitchen for the sanctity of the porch.
Since summer is just around the corner, perhaps I should buy a book that demonstrates (with pictures) how to properly cut all vegetables. It might just be worth my time.
10 comments:
At least you got to eat. By the time I got back, all that was left was questionable looking meat and PBR.
well.. at least you weren't invited over to this bbq
... sorry. it's gross. i know. .. it happens though.
besides, ... cutting onions is FUN!!@!R%%!#@$
oops sorry. long days
here's what i mean
what's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
i cry when cutting up an onion.
</third grade>
You didn't poke this woman in the eye? You showed admirable restraint. I hope you enjoyed your time out on the patio while she cried over the cutting board.
which funny comment?
I to am shocked by your unusual restrained behavior. I would have been happier to hear you shoved the onion up her nose.
Sarah--
Jealous bitch.
You're a good, uh, bitch. Is that what I meant to say?
Regards,
Mikey
What a bitch. Her, not you.
What you should've said ...
"I can't cut an onion, but I can sure cut the cheese."
Then you'd cut the cheese and leave. Cut and run, that sorta thing.
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