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Friday, March 23, 2007

it's time you met the real me--column 3.22.07

this week's column can be found here. this particular one was very emotional for me to write. adding the picture of my dream ring nearly threw me into a prozac seeking fit. be gentle.


A Friend said...

Oh, honey...

He didn't appreciate you the way he should've. You can do so much better. The man for you will adore everything about you not try to change it. He will love your dog. He will be feisty like you. He'll proudly take you everywhere with him. He will be tall dark & handsome. He will KNOW you're funny. He will be your match in every way possible. He will never let you go, because the men that do are foolish boys.

I love you baby girl.

Anonymous said...

His loss. Our gain.

Anonymous said...


I have enjoyed all your columns, but this one did it for me. I am hooked. It is nice to see a new dimension to you.

Lincoln said...

Great column Sarah. Very resonating. Took me back to my own heart-aches.

Anonymous said...

Marriage sucks!

Have fun, get laid, and remember that the best sex happens with your eyes closed.

unhappily married said...

Consider yourself lucky. Sometimes I wake up next to my wife and wish I was single again. The same woman every day is boring. White toast boring.

me said...

Marriage does suck. Sounds like you would have married a jerk anyway. Letting you go, not a bright move.

Anonymous said...

I've never met you and am one of your biggest fans. You'll meet someone someday. Someone who will be worth all the heartbreaks you've suffered.

The man of your dreams is out there somewhere. Probably reading your blog and getting the courage to ask you out!

That One Guy said...

Sorry, can't sit on the sidelines on this one...

Bellum: you've been on a self-revealing spate of late, which is cool to see for all of us who *think* we know you.

As for you morons crying in your oatmeal how bad your marriage is, how much your life sucks... gimme a break. Marriage sucks? You obviously aren't doing it right. Instead of trauling the internet, maybe you should talk to your spouse about why you are unhappy. Marriage doesn't suck - you do.

I ADORE my wife. We have a wonderful relationship and our lives are full of love and adventure. Sure, life is hard, but it won't change unless YOU CHANGE IT. Grab it by the throat and make a change to better yourself instead of whining about how much you suck.

Brian said...

t.o.g., you've nailed it. Life is what you make. For anyone who thinks for a second that ANY good relationship happens without any work, or hard times you're sorely mistaken and fooling only yourself. We'll probably see your story on Dr. Phil, or perhaps Jerry Springer soon enough.

One of the great quotes I heard years back was simply this: "Great love, like great cooking, involves great risk." If you're not willing to take the risk, and to make the effort (read: WORK), then you're as doomed to failure as the rest of the 50% of failed marriages and countless miserable relationships in the world.

Sarah's got her head on straight, and sadly none of this relationship/marriage stuff comes with an owner's manual or simple directions. But she'll do alright. She's got a history of doing better than most for some time now from what she writes.

Learn from her grasshopper.

Sympathetic Heart said...

This is a wonderful piece. It's real and honest.

It made my heart sad for you.

You are a beautiful brave woman and will accomplish great things. People love your column, why aren't you writing fulltime?

Love will find you when your least expecting it.

leash said...

"the good thing about being hurt is the amazing writing process afterwards." -sarahbellum to me after one of my horrible heart breaks.

this was a very brave and excellent column, sarah.

Austin said...

I'm sorry your heart was broken. Thank you for trusting us with this story. You've gained a whole new following I suspect.

Mikey said...


You're young, you have lots of time. It a huge and very common mistake to get married too early in life.

What you call "commitment issues" are simply a self-protection mechanism. They will go away, or maybe they won't. Either way, it will be a fascinating journey.


Annette said...

Relationships are never perfect.

They are about commitment and dealing with the fact that their partners have flaws.

Looking past those flaws is love.

Get a grip woman!

And you shouldn't go out with wierdos that comment on your blog, or who are getting the courage to asks you out. Who wants to date a wimp?

Go for the man who has made himself availble to you. Someone who likes to talk to you, and who you like to talk to too.

But maybe you shouldn't listen to me, I like to screw married men.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah,

I just have to commend you for being able to speak so highly of your ex. I left a relationship extremely broken hearted just one year ago this month. Like you and The Man, my ex and I had a horrible breakup. I never could have imagined that someone I was so in love with was capable of treating me so badly. But when I found out that he ended up with the girl that he claimed was “just a friend”, my broken heart quickly morphed into unwavering rage.

I’ve worked really hard over the past year to let go of the anger I feel towards my ex, and I am happy to say that I have made some strides. It is really not in my nature to hate anyone, especially someone I spent 6 years of my life with. But it was very refreshing to read about how you are happy you are now, and how you really appreciate the time you had with The Man. You give me hope for myself :)