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Friday, March 30, 2007

self-appointed matchmaker

wouldn't it be nice if you could handpick your family? though, i can't imagine giving up any of my family, so maybe if i could pick who they marry. that's it--i should be in charge of the family matchmaking, though i have no obvious skills since i'm single. BUT, i could pick out killer matches for my brothers.

1. gwen stefani because she's gwen stefani.
2. angelina jolie because i'm guaranteed to get a boatload of nieces and nephews out of the deal.
3. aishwarya rai because not only is she beautiful but perhaps i could wear a pink sari to the wedding.
4. norah jones because then my mom couldn't be upset no one else in the family enjoys singing.
5. sarah silverman because i wouldn't be the crudest female at the dinner table.
6. debbie harrie because i'd suddenly be the younger blond.
7. jessica simpson because she would be fun to laugh at.
8. natalie portman because she may agree to shave her head when whichever brother she marries goes bald--sympathy hair loss goes a long way in the nielson family.
9. anna kournikova because she's hot, and she'd play tennis with chady-bear so the rest of us didn't have to.
10. rachel ray because then maybe once we'd have something besides dry mormon roast for sunday dinner.

1 comment:

Lincoln said...

I'm with you on Rachel Ray. Why the backlash against her? I don't get it. Sometimes she's a little too much to handle but come on people.