A Phone Conversation with My Mother

Sarah: "Do you promise you'll be there someday when I'm knocked up and all alone."

Mom: "Of course, unless I'm dead."

S: "Funny you should mention that, you almost died Monday. When my alarm clock went off Monday morning I remember hearing on the news that there was a nasty car wreck in Millard county and a woman died. I realized I hadn't heard from you on Sunday and thought maybe you were dead."

M: "You did? You didn't call."

S: "I feel back asleep, and when I remembered about it later I figured someone would have called me if you were dead. BUT I did tell my friends the story later that afternoon."

M: "Sweetie, your Dad is in Alaska, who would have called you? You should have called."

S: "MOM! You aren't dead, does it really matter now? I just want to know if you're going to be supportive when I'm knocked up and all alone. You can't be dead, who is going to raise my child?"

M: "Are you trying to tell me something, Sarah?"

S: "No Mom, I'm the furthest thing from knocked up. I'm currently in a dry spell."

M: "I need to go back to work now, we can discuss this when I see you tomorrow afternoon."

S: "You really want to discuss my hypothetical illegitimate child?!"

M: "No. See you tomorrow. Don't forget to show up."