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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Letter to my Missionary Brother #5

Dear Chady-Bear,

It’s nice to hear you’re not dead. I haven’t heard that directly from you of course, but from our dear mother. WHAT THE HELL?! You can take the time to send her a letter, but not me? I’ve given you a five day grace period from when mom received her letter, and still… nothing. Bad Chad! Are you playing favorites because you came out of her? Because if so, might I remind you, who did you spend more time with until the age of five? Yeah, me. Maybe you blocked those years from your memory, and for the sake of your inner holy ghost, perhaps that’s best.

Do you remember when you thought you invented the “F” word? (For the safety of your eternal salvation I’ll not type the actual word. Now that’s love!) I was driving you to daycare on my way to school, which I did EVERY SINGLE DAY! You couldn’t get your seatbelt to buckle correctly and you yelled f*** at the top of your cute little lungs. I asked you were in the world you’d heard such a bad word. “Sissy, I made it up. It’s my word, not bad.” I’d never been so proud, so I let you have that one. That was the year you made a bed inside my closet because I wouldn’t let you sleep with me and you wanted to be close. You were four.

Listen up Bear… if you don’t send me a letter soon, I’m going to be forced to tell your mission president your affinity for profanity.

Love, love, love you!



Ms Aimee said...

you ARE an adorable sister.

Rich K (Jess' DAD) said...

You know (well, you don't know), I was an only child. I was always jealous of my friends with brothers and sisters. I wanted someone to fight with, play with, love and all the rest of the package. You seem to have a wonderful relationship with your siblings. I only wish I had a sister to write letters to me like you do.

Counterintuitive said...

I wish I had recieved letters like that on my mission--it would have really cheered me up and helped me to not take myself so GD serious.