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Monday, June 04, 2007

what i'm looking for in a man

i'm looking for a geek. not the kind of geek who never leaves his mother's basement, but the geek with designer jeans and cool glasses. oh, and hair. that's important--bald geeks need not apply.

my geek must be geeky enough to accompany me to the mac store and actually enjoy it. (my ibook is on the fritz AGAIN!) also, please know every computer program i may need, and redesign my blog to look exactly the way i want it: pink. my geek must accompany me to movies at the broadway, and drive me home when i've had a few too many. my geek must be able to read and discuss books with me.

what you'll get in return. i'll never complain when you watch the simpsons. i'll always be willing to bring you coffee while you fix my computer. i'll try and behave myself in front of your parents, and not behave myself in front of your friends. i'll happily discuss most new geeks toys with you. of course, reserving the right to pick and choose which items interest me and discuss accordingly.

is that really so much to ask?

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yup...it was.

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of us out there. Look harder!

Rob said...

I would like to apply for the "my geek" position, but I don't possess designer jeans nor cool glasses, damn!

S said...

Hurry Sarah and pick me!!!I'm not sure how much longer I'll have my hair.

sarahbellum said...

anon: and you know this, because?

anon: i'm looking, i really, really am!

rob: designer jeans can be swapped for camping gear. you should apply.

s: laugh... hair is important!

Lincoln said...

Damn...we can never date Sarah. I thought I was a possible candidate but I know the inner workings of a computer about as much as the inner workings of algebra.

el viajero said...

Have you considered asking potential suitors take the geek test? http://www.innergeek.us/geek.html

It's a bit lengthy, but with the addition of a couple personal questions it might be more scientific than other methods of finding a suitable man.

(Un?)Surprisingly, I scored only 12, which doesn't even register on the geek scale. For comparison, the office average was in the upper 30s, with one topping the charts above 60, which corresponds to something like the inhuman offspring of a dungeons & dragons fanatic mating with a trekkie (presuming, of course, either would be able to talk with, let alone mate, with a member of the opposite sex)...

It'd be entertaining to hear how your geek-lunchmates score...

Quinn said...

You know I don't think I can count how many times I fixed your computer and helped you fix your blog.... but you never brought me coffee?!!?

sarahbellum said...

lincoln: sigh...

el v: i scored a 18.14596 %, and admittedly went home early from dinner to take the test.

quinners: had i known you liked coffee! i owe you one.

ryan said...

Jeans, check (maybe, geeks think 'designer = poser' although, my jeans are hot damnit!)

Glasses, see above.

Hair, check. (yay!)

Macs? ... uhm.. no. I'll lose on that one. Apple ≠ geek.

Computer programs & blog? Arhg! If If i don't know how, i know many who do.

Movies, np. I have most of them in house before they hit the theater. And i'm very opinionated, if you haven't already noticed.

Books/reading? wow, hrm. lose on that one. Although, if it's in digital or audio format, i prolly already have it.

hrmmm. If i lived in slc valley, and wasn't so shy IRL, .. i'd prolly apply.

Uber Geek said...

PICK ME!!!

ryan said...

BTW: 36.09467% - Major Geek

I'd prolly agree with that too. I'd much rather be a geek than a 'normal/hip' person.

:P

mark said...

I got a 23.6664%, which I consider a happy medium share of geek in me. Although, now, I am left to contemplate how the other 76.336% is comprised. I hope at least 12.557% is Ninja....

Anonymous said...

I can offer you the computer help but a true geek doesn't care about designer jeans. He's much rather spend the $ on hardware.

I scored 31.3745% on your test.

I'm a PC guy myself, but think a girl with an Apple is hot! We'll survive.

Heek (a married geek) said...

You need a meek! A Morman Geek!

Or possibly a Deek! A Democratic Geek!

Just be sure to keep away from a Reek! A Republican Geek! You don't want someone saying, "You Reek!" do ya?

thomas said...

oh. my. god.

these are the funniest responses I've seen...

Last week, after (barely) resisting the temptation to toss my PC off my 5' high balcony, I spent an hour at the Beigeway Apple Store. All I got out of the deal was a business card which promised me one-on-one time the NEXT time I came to the store.

I left thinking, "why don't women have these?"

And I thought of you for some reason....

Then this. It's almost more than one guy can handle....

high 30's geek said...

Sarah dear what's your geek age range? I scored well on the test the first time I took it (last year). Staying true to form I'm not taking it again. Geeks like me aren't repetitive.

If I don't fit your range a few of my co-workers would.

England said...

I love trivial tests. Perhaps that is a part of my 15% geek factor.

I guess the designer jeans and hip glasses won out over my obsession with diggnation and TWIT. Go figure, err, calculate.

el viajero said...

Sarah - it seems the geek test has some legs (you're welcome!). I suggest that you ask the geek-lunchmates to set up a multi-variable probability matrix based on the geek questionnaire, plug in some data from your exes (and your apparently willing blog readers), and have them crunch all that data to find out which variables really are the most important to you. IN could foot the bill for the processing time and the power plant necessary to crunch *all* of the data. Make a contest of it, it'd be fascinating.

Wow, that all sounds very geeky. I attribute it to some reptilian portion of the brain dredging long forgotten nuggets of enginerding from the hoary depths of memory...

Anonymous said...

Bellum, I scored a 6. That alone should score me a date with you. I wear designer jeans and have black nerd glasses. I don't find it fair you are eliminating the non-geeks. This is a bad version of elimidate.

Kerrith Black said...

As a geek, all I'm looking for, to quote Jimmy Buffett, is a smart woman in a real short skirt.

aimee said...

Okay so now I'm wondering if I can write a guest blog on what I'M looking for in a man and see if it gets this many willing applicants.

Bradley said...

Make sure you make an appointment for that ibook or we wont be able to help ;)