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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Top Ten Reasons to be Single on Valentine's Day:

Tales of Wit and Charm
1) Sleeping in ten extra minutes, because there is no need to shave my legs.

2) My panties and bra don't have to match.

3) I have a reason to listen to the Eels "Love of the Loveless" over, and over all day long.

4) The only flowers in my house are ones I've purchased myself, so there will be no sneezing due to allergies this year.

5) I don't have to wear perfume, unless I want to.

6) No one is going to drag me to a steak house thinking I'll be impressed, and then remember ten minutes into the meal I don't eat steak.

7) The only gifts purchased for the holiday are those for myself.

8) I don't have to try and have dainty girl eating habits at dinner tonight. I can pig out on Valentine's Day candy and no one will care.

10) And best of all, I get to spend the evening with friends watching "Rock of Love" on Tivo. Though, if Arlo meets someone and falls in love within the next eight hours my evening is ruined.


Jake... said...

Those sure are some good reasons. I like how you take shots at past dates, haha. That steakhouse guy must feel like a chump.

Anonymous said...

Happy Valentine's Day, Sarah. Thanks for the constant laughs.

ak said...

LOL #6

El_Viajero said...

"Someone left a VD surprise at my door!!!"

- Eww. Is that something you have to report to the SLV Health Department? I don't know if I'd be so keen on someone leaving me a VD surprise.

Anonymous said...

1) Love can happen in an instant. I always think of the guy who was in a motorcycle accident with a banana taped to his leg. You never know what can happen, always be prepared.

2) most men could care less anyway, our goal is to get those items off as fast as possible.

3) You're not loveless, you're just too mental. You always look for that "one thing."

4)Flowers are a waste of money, but if they get us laid, oh well.

5) You should only wear perfume if you want to. No man ever dry-humped his date because she smell like a French whore, although smelling bad could be a deterrent, but not a deal breaker.

6) Who cares, men only care where they take you until they have you. A true player knows this, most guys could care less.

7)Isn't that how you like it anyway. What's mine is mine and what's his is mine.

8)You will care, and most guys would rather their date be real so they don't find out after being hooked that their girl is a pig.

9)Missed one, not much on details are you. Most of us could care less as long as you are fun and we can bed you.

10)This is a deal breaker.

Have a great month.