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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Doogie Howser got me high!!

Tales of Wit and Charm
I’m sick, and it’s all Ben’s fault. I’ve not had a cold or flu all winter. With the small exception of food poisoning inflicted by Arlo, I’ve been completely healthy.

Like a good sister I picked Ben up from the airport Sunday and gave him a ride home. He coughed the entire time and spewed his disgusting boy germs all over my car.

I started feeling gross yesterday, and then woke up this morning with a fever and coughing so hard I puked. Awesome. It was obvious I was Instacare bound. Ben called to see which one I was going to so we could meet there. The jerk is still sick. I told him where to go, but he never showed. Is he OK? Who cares. Part of me was hoping he had overdosed on NyQuil. Not because I don’t love him, but because he totally deserves it.

After waiting an hour in the lobby, my name was finally called--music to my insanely clogged ears. Another wait in the room and finally a doctor arrives. And by doctor I mean Doogie Fucking Howser, MD. Young doctors before have seen me but this was ridiculous—he looked like he was in high school.

"Bad news, Sarah. Looks like you don't have strep throat."

"Um, why would that be bad news? I didn't really want it."

"Strep we could have treated. This particular funk you've got can't be treated. I can, however, give you a prescription of codeine pills to ease the pain a bit."

"Pills? Can't I just get some cough syrup? I think with my throat this swollen I won't be able to swallow pills."

"Unfortunately there's a shortage on codeine syrup, so pills will have to do. Try crushing them in ice cream."

"Ohhhh, is that what your mom does, too?"

He glared at me. I'm guessing he gets wisecracks about his age all the time. Quite honestly, I was just excited at the prospect of ice cream. I swore off ice cream a few months ago and was very much looking forward to having a reason to buy some.

"Go home, load up and get as much sleep as possible. You should feel better in a few days."

Maybe having a young doctor isn't all that bad. Loading up sounds just like what I need. And who am I to defy a doctor's orders? Exactly.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry your sick. I hope you and your brother feel better soon.

Try echinacea.

That one girl, Kiesha said...

I'd kiss a doctor who prescribed codeine and icecream. I hope start to feel better, I'm afraid this deathly cold is coming for me next.

Ashley said...

codeine for a cold? what kind of doc was he and name please... when this baby is born i am fakin illness maybe!

ak said...

so basically you should be THANKING Ben for giving you a good excuse to eat narcotic enhanced ice cream.

Get well soon (at least before Sat night so you can still come over and not play poker)

el_viajero said...

Considering Utah's love of all things prescription and ice cream, I find it astonishing that Spotted Dog Creamery hasn't come up with Codeine crunch, Prozac Pistachio, and other such flavors.

Midge said...

How is it we managed to get the same thing and we didn't even get to make out. Thanks for going to the doctor for me, now I know I just have to grin and bear it, although going just to get drugs is tempting.

Loralee Choate said...

I will TOTALLY take some codeine crunch ice cream!

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you don't have influenza a? Did they run your blood work? You shouldn't be losing weight that fast. Consider going to hospital, sounds bad.

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