Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Doogie Howser got me high!!
I’m sick, and it’s all Ben’s fault. I’ve not had a cold or flu all winter. With the small exception of food poisoning inflicted by Arlo, I’ve been completely healthy.
Like a good sister I picked Ben up from the airport Sunday and gave him a ride home. He coughed the entire time and spewed his disgusting boy germs all over my car.
I started feeling gross yesterday, and then woke up this morning with a fever and coughing so hard I puked. Awesome. It was obvious I was Instacare bound. Ben called to see which one I was going to so we could meet there. The jerk is still sick. I told him where to go, but he never showed. Is he OK? Who cares. Part of me was hoping he had overdosed on NyQuil. Not because I don’t love him, but because he totally deserves it.
After waiting an hour in the lobby, my name was finally called--music to my insanely clogged ears. Another wait in the room and finally a doctor arrives. And by doctor I mean Doogie Fucking Howser, MD. Young doctors before have seen me but this was ridiculous—he looked like he was in high school.
"Bad news, Sarah. Looks like you don't have strep throat."
"Um, why would that be bad news? I didn't really want it."
"Strep we could have treated. This particular funk you've got can't be treated. I can, however, give you a prescription of codeine pills to ease the pain a bit."
"Pills? Can't I just get some cough syrup? I think with my throat this swollen I won't be able to swallow pills."
"Unfortunately there's a shortage on codeine syrup, so pills will have to do. Try crushing them in ice cream."
"Ohhhh, is that what your mom does, too?"
He glared at me. I'm guessing he gets wisecracks about his age all the time. Quite honestly, I was just excited at the prospect of ice cream. I swore off ice cream a few months ago and was very much looking forward to having a reason to buy some.
"Go home, load up and get as much sleep as possible. You should feel better in a few days."
Maybe having a young doctor isn't all that bad. Loading up sounds just like what I need. And who am I to defy a doctor's orders? Exactly.