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Sunday, December 31, 2006

torturing children as a hobby

last night night ben and i went over to our brother jeff's house to watch the fights on hbo. my brothers really like watching them, and while i don't i really like seeing my brothers.

my brother jeff lives with his girlfriend and her 3-year-old daughter, who i call little hula. she got one of those doll heads for christmas so she can play hairdresser. it's a nice having her play with doll hair rather than combing mine with my car keys. when she showed me the doll i asked her where the body was and if ben had eaten it. you see, i told her months ago that ben eats people. she looked over at ben and he bared all his teeth. at this point she was totally freaked out, and ben and i were in heaven. for the remainder of the evening ben would periodically walk over and pretend to eat whatever doll she was playing with.

i left before ben did and when i walked out the door little hula started to cry because she didn't want me to leave ben there. i felt horrible and decided i'd never tease her like that again...well, unless i'm taking ben home with me.


Anonymous said...


dennis said...

That poor little girl is going to grow up as a man hater and it will be your fault!

Lincoln said...

I found a book this year which I gave to two different people for Christmas. "Great Lies to Tell Small Kids." I think you'd like it.

Jeff Nielson said...

The best part of the night was Sarah, Ben, and I finally hanging out again!!! Thanks for coming over and scaring the shit out of Kailee. She loves you more than ever, seeming you can protect her from, Ben the Doll Eating Creep!!!

Aimee said...

Dear Dennis,
Good. If the little girl grows up to be a man hater, Sarah is more my hero than ever.
Dear Sarah,
May I please borrow Ben the next time I feel like being evil? He's so good at taking the blame!