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Monday, April 24, 2006

don’t be silly, cover your willy.

i’ve often wondered who buys the non-lubricated condoms, you know, the red box trojans. i obviously spent too much time in the condom isle of the drugstore in my early 20’s. i finally figured it out, young mormon husbands! the geeks pointed out a bag in the back-seat of an audi wagon they parked next to, which contained one lonely condom. typically, this wouldn’t phase us, however, this time we knew the car owner.

to condom boy: i applaud you for a) getting some and b) practicing safe sex, but the curious part is the single serving size condom. aren’t newlyweds still in that “practice” stage, therefore needing multiple condoms over the one night stand purchase? i don’t get it.

now, to add to my rising condom issues i bring you some entertainment:

thanks to the neglect on the part of amazon.com, one more reason to shop there. entertainment!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's Willy with a "capital-W" to you ma'am.

Your next Friday Five: Endearing self-names for the man-parts. I'll start you off:

1. Hank and the Twins.
2.

Jason said...

I have never understood why "Trojans" became a marketing tool to sell condoms. As I recall, from the Iliad, Troy was the city that was covertly infiltrated by the Acheans through a brilliant ploy (if you consider a giant wooden horse brilliant and not idiotic)and then completely destroyed. Their gates were penetrated and their defenses were overcome. The "Trojan" warrior seems like an ironic symbol of protection.

I wonder if the French have "Maginot" or "Ashencourt" brand condoms? The Japanese could have Hiroshima or Nagasaki condoms though I think that their cultural sexual weirdness goes way beyond strangely named condoms. For example, live action Sailor Moon porn or this:

http://www.jlist.com/cgi-bin/disp.cgi?img=http://images.jlist.com/c2/kittyvib5.gif&x=500&y=500

Anonymous said...

SarahBellum this is one of your best yet. Do you and your geeks always peek in cars?

Dave said...

i've always wanted to sell used condoms on amazon, but unfortunately i can never seem to get then to the "used" state...

tgi56 said...

When I handed you the "excellent" condom humor, you passed. Now I read this post.......WTF is right. Let the boycott begin!

Anonymous said...

I had a friend who studied in Russia back in the mid-90s. She said that people there would wash out ziplock bags and reuse them, instead of throwing them away. Maybe the same thing is going on here.

Anonymous said...

As a member of the geek squad, no we don't always peek in windows. We were bein' geeks and admiring the new Audi Wagon and wanted to see who's it was. So we peeked inside and just about fell over laughing when with what we saw.

Sarah Bellum said...

anon: that is a great friday five idea!

kerrith: you're right, i never actually thought about it that way before. thanks for the insight!

anon: thanks, it looks like pmk already answered your question.

dave: try harder, pun intended.

tgi56: i'd rather not boycott condoms. i'll send you flowers when you die of aids.

j2: um, eww....

pmk: thanks for the clarification, i don't want people to think we wander around parking lots peering in car windows.