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Friday, October 12, 2007

I Kill People

Ben: "I’m a card carrying member of the American Legion."

Sarah: "Um… I don’t really know how to react to that."

Ben: "I went again last night but they wanted me to have an old guy with me."

Sarah: "You mean a vet?"

Ben: "Yeah, that. So I told them Dad had served in the military."

Sarah: "But, Ben, Dad didn’t serve. You lied to the American Legion?!"

Ben: "Sorta. I felt okay about it because Dad would’ve served if he wasn't diabetic."

Sarah: "So you’re telling me you shouldn’t be punished just because Dad didn’t serve in the military?"

Ben: "Exactly!!"

Sarah: "You do realize Dad will be drafted now, right? The one time I used a family member as an excuse they died."

Ben: "You killed Chad? No wonder I don't get letters anymore."

Sarah: "No, Ben, this isn’t a laughing matter. I killed Grandma. I used her as an excuse once and she died a month later. I’m the bitch who killed my own grandmother."

Ben: "You’re not a bitch, you’re just insane. You didn’t kill Grandma and Dad isn’t going to be drafted. Stop drinking so much coffee."

1 comment:

girlsnap said...

Coffee? Could be worse.

Thank God he didn't say "whiskey."

Believe me, it hurts a lot worse.