the importance of goals--column 11.30.06

after hearing from my mother over thanksgiving how important goals are, i've set a few myself. surely not what she had in mind. click here for more!

winter bitchfest '06 begins:

typically i wait until december to start whining about the cold, however, we're only a day away, and unlike annie i have nothing to sing about--even if i could sing, which i can't, my pipes would be frozen, and there's nothing worse than frozen pipes. pmk's car thermometer showed -7 this morning in park city, while it wasn't that cold here, it was certainly cold. i need to keep reminding myself there are a few benefits to winter: christmas presents and those little miniature oranges. that's really the only positives i can muster at the moment.

holiday greetings from the lazy...

it's no secret i hate blanket text messages. i finally found something worse:

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why i love joe hatch:

now this is my kinda politician! if you aren't already reading the trib out of context blog (or tommyland as i call it) you should be, go here.

proof!!

my brother ben and i had family night last night, which included a trip to target rather than scripture reading. it's better that way, trust me. the mission was to buy christmas decorations for our newly purchased retro tinsel trees--mine pink (of course!), his silver. ben's personal mission was to buy blue balls for his tree. yes, blue balls.

i am soooo telling my mother this story next time she tells me i am her "dirty" child!

office porn

pmk summoned me to his office this morning to show me his "porn". it's innocent, really, i promise--he was looking out the window at this:

and if that wasn't enough...

ak too summoned me into his office to show me "ski porn":

it's really too bad that orrin hatch doesn't have time to define porn for these two!

daisy, the thug pug.

i need to let daisy see herself in the mirror--she must be under the illusion she’s a much bigger dog than she really is, because she got into a fight with a dog three times her size last night. she was lucky to only walk, err, limp away with three bites and a hurt leg.

when i took her to the very handsome vet today, i had him run some test on her as well because she..well stinks. she’s lost four pounds in the last couple of months—that’s a fourth of her body weight, so a significant amount. turns out she has a bacterial infection that’s making her not only lose weight, but fart uncontrollably. when i asked what caused the infection i was told it can be caused by emotional stress. that's right, my dog is stressed out! not only is she a brawler, she’s a nut case. go figure.

i think it’s possible both daisy and i need a high dosage of prozac.

game day!

read here for my tribute to the game today! sadly, i wasn't able to score a ticket this year, but i'll be wearing my pink utah shirt and watching the game from home.

hairy sports.

i was at the jazz/laker game tonight, but i found it hard to concentrate on the game once i realized teen wolf and the jazz bear are indeed the same person, or at least hairy relatives both in need of major electrolysis.

to capture a man, i must think like one--column 11.23.06

to read my adventures of thinking like a man go here!

giving thanks:

i'm thankful these two numbers are on my parent's caller id and not mine!

please excuse my grubby fingerprints; it's the country, things are supposed to be dirty. oh, and happy thanksgiving y'all!

got milk?

while scavenging through my mom's kitchen for something to eat this afternoon, i found 17 boxes of cold cereal! my mother, who no longer has any children living in her home, has 17 opened boxes of cereal. what the hell? i cannot wait for her to get home from work so i can tease her.

and to think, i was worried that i wouldn't find anything to eat.

home for thanksgiving:

jesus and i partner up.

what did i do for entertainment before adding site meter to my blog? seriously! this one is THE BEST YET!

what my vacation looks like:

taking note, part two.

as i previously mentioned in part one, i've turned into my mother--leaving myself reminder notes on my front door. apparently ben thought i need a little reminder as well. sadly, i just now noticed it.

this past month of dating suddenly makes sense! damn you benjaminoballbaby!

wooing sarah

a cute boy gave me flowers last week!

flowers for me last approximately one week before they start smelling funky. at that point they're usually wilted and icky looking so it's time to toss 'em anyway. i came home last night to find my apartment smelling like something had died. i didn't want to throw them out since they still look great, so i stuck them on the balcony where i could still see them without the gag factor.

when i walked out to my car this morning i caught my neighbor eyeing the flowers and shaking her head in a disapproving manner. i'm sure she ran inside and added to the "sarah's a fruitcake" list. oh well...

i'm nosy and want to know my readers!

when you look down your pants what do you see?
	male parts
	female parts
	ewww, gross! mind your own beeswax bellum!
pollcode.com free polls

on the cusp of the holiday season,column 11.16.06

that's right folks 'tis pie season! not only do i have to refrain from eating my own weight in pie, i have to find holiday dates.

read more here!

why beaver?

commuting is just another form of people watching for me!

office quotes

no, not the television series. my office!

ddr: you make me blush, and i make you cringe!

jb: i need some hot chocolate, it's been one of those mornings.

republican cemetery:

a burrito, please, with a side of life.

i'm finally at peace with my age. mostly.

today, at lunch i was stuck behind a group of teenagers who would not shut-up. they kept changing their order over, and over again. it reminded me how happy i am to know exactly what i want on my burrito and in life. it took every ounce of self control not to pull them aside and tell them they are like totally wasting their time with the incessant chatter about boys. i understand, as i was boy crazy at that age too, but look where it's gotten me... i'm currently without man. in fact if we woman weren't so damn crazy i'd consider that option. ok, that's a lie, so don't sending me emails requesting lesbian pictures.

but really, what i wouldn't give to go back and do it all over again--not all of it i guess, i really don't want the perm years back, that was bad enough the first time around. maybe i'm reminiscent of a time without eye wrinkles, or maybe i'm just upset over the fact i'm being faced with taking a chemistry class at 31. whatever the case, i'd forget the boys and concentrate on books.

dumb teenagers.

workplace conversations

me: i noticed someone is reading my blog from the IRS, and i'm totally freaked out.

ak: well, unless you have something to hide i wouldn't worry about it.

me: i thought i'd call paul newman for tax advice.

ak: i'd probably call robert redford instead.

me: shut up, i meant paul whatever his last name is that does our company taxes. you know the one that sings show tunes and takes his shoes off.

another site meter goodie:

who searches this stuff? seriously. i'm party appalled and partly intrigued.

just another manic monday

getting on the freeway today i saw a billboard reading "hell just froze over". great, hell just froze over and there's a demon in my windshield wipers. appropriate.

it was pouring rain this morning and my wipers wouldn't stop making a clicking noise. i cannot stand car noises. typically, to fix them i just turn the radio up. this time the radio isn't going to solve the problem--it's that loud! it's going to be a long, long winter.

i should have stayed in bed.

my future straight from the hands of the charlie chow gods:

looks like i can finally stop bothering with wearing my pesky seatbelt. seriously. I am set fo' life, yo!

at home with the kids

with thanksgiving just around the corner, i've been given a taste of the kids table. everyone's family is the same, right? grown-up table in one room, the kids table complete with the drunk uncle in another room. i was fortunate enough to be thrown with the kids for years. it's cool, kids are way more fun, even if their conversations revolving around harry potter leave me silent-- it's still better than the alternative. the past few years i've been stuck with the adults, as hard as i tried to get around it, i was stuck in the adult work discussing republican politics. yikes!

last night the in staff went to the taste of utah, where we stuck out like sore thumbs. clad in jeans and a tee-shirt i was a little surprised and mortified to find it a suit and tie affair. i found our table and was relieved to find i was sitting at the kids table, conveniently located close to the bar and exit. i was content just not to be stuck anywhere near the multiple guys seen wearing bow ties. isn't there a law that stops anyone under 70 from purchasing those? well there should be! the only bow tie i want at dinner is in a pasta salad.

i can keep my own with the perma tan crowd, i just need to know what i'm getting into. i keep extra make-up around for those events. however, i'm without aging stripper clothing. something i must work on ASAP!

just another working friday..

when you work with geeks your day is filled with geek activities:
i don't call him ddr for nothing!

birthday dilemma solved, with a little saintly assistance--column, 11.9.06

go here to read this week's column, unless you're a family member of mine, then this week just skip it. trust me.

mom, i mean it. no dead turkey day holiday for you! i'll stay in salt lake and eat at village inn. this is no idle threat, remember i like pancakes.

fire has evolved:

this was presented to me last night, and it's quite possibly my new favorite thing! i'm keeping it with me always, and i don't even smoke...

fun info provided by site meter!

when searching on google for "drunk sis tales" you're directed to my site. awesome. my parents must be so proud. i have a sinking feeling this is not going to make the christmas newsletter, but then i have a feeling since creating this blog all parental bragging rights have been revoked.

click here for the the offending post.

democrats really know how to party!

good times at the democratic party celebration tonight!
rob miller looking confident and handsome as always!
larry, my second favorite tractor owner!
joe hatch & his aid justin wiley!
diane turner, fabulous as usual!
bob & ddr
pete ashdown and his adorable jackie-esque wife!
bob toasting the dems! ok, that's a lie, he's really just holding my drink, but if he did drink this would be the pose!

"the polls show what"??!

making peace with my inner geek, and blogging from the ashdown headquarters!

election day fever!!

for me, election day has an excitement factor comparable to christmas. if i could somehow incorporate recieving more than the i voted sticker, it could easily become my new favorite holiday! i haven't voted yet. i like the giddy feeling to last as long as possible, therefore i wait until the last second to vote. it's sappy and geeky, but it's me.

i want to wish all the democratic candidates the best of luck today, specifically: diane turner, pete ashdown, joe hatch, rob miller, richard watson, and last but not least larry wiley. i'm rooting for you guys and am looking forward to hearing the news of your wins!

also, for the first time i'm going to attend the state democratic shin-dig tonight, and am very much looking foward to it. if you see me, come say hi!

just a reminder:

"the republican difference"?

thank god for camera phones--it would have been a real shame to let this one go by unseen!

coping with the bday date dilemma, column 11.2.06

to read my column on birthday drama go here. and for the record i'll take a wedding cake over a dubya cake anyday!

thanks and i hate you!!!

my brothers, being the brilliant smartasses that they are, planned a little birthday surprise for me today: a wedding cake at the office. apparently they've given up hope i'll marry and have taken matters into their own hands. geez, people will do anything to get a good slice of cake!

here are a two videos of my niece and i cutting the cake---courtesy of quinn-diesel and ddr:

my mother, the diva:

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wishful voting

in an effort to make an educated vote, quinn-diesel and i were reading through the voting pamphlet he received in the mail. it reminded me there are two votes i'm not able to make that i really, really wish i could:

diane turner who is running for county council, district 3.
to read the tribune's endorsement of diane click here. &

rob miller who is running for davis county commission, seat a.
to read rob's campaign blog click here.