Quote of the Day:

"There is something to be said about dying young and leaving a good-looking corpse. Necrophilia is so much more palatable when you look like Heath Ledger."--The Yuppie

I seriously have the best collection of ex-boyfriends this state has to offer. Now, to keep them all single so we can remain friends always. That's not too selfish, right?

things i didn't say, and some i did:

anyone want to guess which ones are mine and which aren't?


"music worthy of a good suicide."

"i don't want a dead date!"

"there were LOTS of hot girls at the breast cancer thing!"

"i'm gonna have to think of something fancy to shave on my body for that!"

weird things i didn't say #3

"it's ok, i plan to see you naked at some point."

"am i in the right place? i have raw meat."

"when you're half as funny as colbert i'll make you ice cream myself--out of the garage."

weird things i didn't say (and one i did) #2

marky: "my nose is alive!"

yours truly: "that's as gay as i go."

ben: "i'm either eating willie nelson's ice cream or making love to him. i can't tell."

pmk: "double amputees are exciting!"

weird things i didn't say!

i obviously love making fun of things--being an equal-opportunity offender i like to include my friends and family, as seen here:

when i asked marky if he wanted to go to the gym he replied with, "i just got a paint job and can't sweat."

"i'll be extra diligent and not look up any rapist vans this afternoon, so that i'll have time tomorrow."--compliments of the yuppie.

when leaving friends after dinner marky said, "i'll see you online!"

and worth a second mention, from pmk: "my nephews are going to be boys."