Wednesday, May 31, 2006
it’s a fine line between my neurosis and love of all things coffee. gray offered me some of his espresso coffee this afternoon, i hesitated for a moment, carefully weighing the situation--coffee vs. germs. surprisingly coffee beat potential gg contamination, is it possible that i'm becoming slightly less neurotic with age?!
don’t hold your breath on that one...actually maybe you should, just in case, or at least don’t breathe in my direction.
Monday, May 29, 2006
it's hard to pay attention to your dinner conversation when you're waiting for your date to stick his foot in his mouth. you see flyboy has an excellent track record at doing just that. i'm not easily offended, so instead of getting upset i get excited. rest assured, the evening was a complete success! a man passing outside had on a puffy vest, flyboy pointed out how silly this was as it doesn't keep your arms warm. bippity bam, guess who wears a puffy PINK vest all winter long...yup, me.
it's nice to have something you can count on.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
upon closer inspection i found a blow-up doll box! at this point i decided not to pick it up, sure we can say i didn't want to touch it, but honestly i wanted other people to get that same shock factor!
either there is a dirty pervert out driving my street playing with his new "friend", or one of my neighbors can't get a date--a human one, that is. i've not stopped judging my neighbors since the incident. god, i love people.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
umm, you do the math. there is entirely too much to make fun of...so insert your own sarcasm, ad nauseam.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
fustian: pompous or pretentious language.
hobbledehoy: an awkward, gawky young fellow.
cum: with; along with; combined with.
for those keeping count--that's three blogs containing words that make my mother blush. awesome.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
i’ve donated, and i’m asking you to do the same here. it’s a good cause and every little bit counts, skip sbux for a day and contribute your coffee money. it’s enough that you can feel good about yourself without hopping on a bike and sweating your guts out.
ak, thanks for riding for both of our dads!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
although i think they got confused and thought it was DRIVE your bike to work day. whatever.
i don't speak bike, so when jb looked at me this morning and mentioned, "darn it, i forgot my scrotum today", i was speechless. the disturbing part to my tender ears was that he said darn and scrotum in the same sentence. you see, i really feel that a forgotten scrotum deserves at least a damn...but that's just me.
Monday, May 15, 2006
in honor of our fearful, errr...i mean fearless leader's address to the nation tonight:photo taken at snowbird this weekend (thanks jon). ahhh, clearly a man after my own heart.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
despite these acts they were still cherished childhood items. imagine my horror when i showed up to dinner at my parents today and found my niece had been playing with MY toys, as an only girl sharing my toys was not something i was accustomed to. just as i was about reclaim my treasures my mom gave the the look of death, i knew at that point hiding the toys from hannah was not an option. any other day, i would have directed her attention elsewhere and taken back what was mine, but not today.
mom, i'm not sure why you've been sad your kids are all grown up, because obviously we are not...
happy mother's day!
Friday, May 12, 2006
i definitely need time to recover from this experience before i can go back, thank god it’s friday and i can go to gateway bux for the next two days. coffee gods, please hear my plea....return rory, blond rory, hannah, and molly. i need beauty with my caffeine.
my baby brother, chady-bear, graduates from high school this month. it seems strange i have a brother that young, on the other hand i still expect to see him as a six-year old shaking his but at me yelling, “show this to your mommy”.
after deciding to buy him an ipod, i called my mom to guarantee it wouldn’t be a duplicate gift. she suggested i just give him money instead; "sarah, your brother doesn’t actually like music", which was news to me. after further questioning i was informed that he only listens to country-western. when i pointed out to my mom that country music, while shitty, does indeed count as real music. i got a "whatever, sarah".
and people wonder why i’m such a shit.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
the one day i needed to be in jeans, i’m not. typical.
my office is going bowling today, team building, blah, blah, blah. as usual, i forgot and am clad in flip-flops, needless to say no socks. now, i’m slightly neurotic, so the thought of wearing communal bowling shoes sorta freaks me out (by sorta, i mean A LOT). add to this equation, if you will, the fact i’ll be borrowing gg-top’s extra socks. yeah, it’s going to be a long afternoon….
not to worry, i’ll be very busy contemplating the reason why my company is obsessed with ball sports lately.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
...well done, i say, well done (bad pun intended)!
Monday, May 08, 2006
flyboy went to the kentucky derby over the weekend. yes, by choice! while he was gone we entertained ourselves with bad state slogans. some of our best were:
kentucky, where we wish immigration were an issue!
kentucky, where sleeping with your cousins isn't required to visit, but it helps!
kentucky, we make your state look good!
yes, elvis was most certainly a guest. sadly, he declined when i passed him the special juice. perhaps he had plans to raid the old ladies purses for pills. whatever the case, i was disappointed not to have the chance to drink with elvis.
next time, e, next time...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
1) wow, you sure don’t drink beer like a girl!
2) dude, you eat fast. i can barely keep up.
3) you are crazy.
4) i’ve always believed people are born inherently good, that is until i met you.
5) *compliment withheld at this time.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
somehow, i overshot and ended up in clearfield, go figure. i stopped for directions at the local maverick (a little bit white trash, a little bit country), it was there i realized, yet again, that nascar is ruining the nation. i patiently waited a couple minutes before interrupting the riveting conversation between the toothless employee and the man in the nascar jacket; there are only so many times i can listen to “holy shit, whoa man”, before i lose what’s left of my rumored sanity. i explained where i was attempting to go, only to get a “LAAA-DY… this ain’t layton!"
thank god for that....
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
my fellow slc bloggers will cover the real reasons why he deserves our vote, and since the important topics can be read at their sites, i thought i would share with you my reasons to vote pete.
it's simple really, it comes down to the packaging. i will buy nearly anything that has fantastic packaging. sure, what's inside sorta counts but the outside look is what gets me. i admit, i'm a packaging whore.
with that in mind, look at this little goodie.... while the opposition, orrin's too busy molesting little michael j. fox to care....now, don't get me started on orrin's fashion sense, or lack thereof. i think ethan has covered that extensively.
the other day i came home to find this....ben’s been talking about buying a banjo for months. i thought it was a passing phase like his obsession with girl mullets, apparently not. i’m not sure what frightens me more, the thought of him becoming willie nelson, or the idea he was so excited he couldn’t wait until he got inside to play the damn thing.
Monday, May 01, 2006
one sunburned nose later we ended up at andy's. i don't remember the last time i had such a good time getting groped at the local dive bar. sadly, it was just jack doing the groping. jack being my new dive bar boyfriend; this is not an exclusive relationship, nor is it reciprocated.
flyboy handled the entire day with ease, which causes one to think i've possibly found myself an elitist partner-in-crime.