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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

getting nailed

while out riding last night jb and ak stopped at a gas station for a quick break (wimps). they were sitting on the grass next to a beastly old pick-up truck when the owner, having more inked skin that not, started yelling "move away from the vehicle-- you’re lucky I don’t have my nail gun with me." he then proceeded to make some sort of sound effect, which i imagine he practices at home after one too many cans of natty ice while watching cops re-runs.

and they wonder why i refuse to bike, i'd much rather pick up my creeps via the internet.


Biker said...


SLC Punk said...

I think you might just have missed being this guy's victim:

To which all I can say is: "Ow."

pmk said...

Just remember: this only happens to ROAD bikers. Never happens to Mt. Bikers.

sarahbellum said...

biker: i don't think the boys thought it was awesome.

slcpunk: eek.

pmk: what was that? something about mountain bikers never getting nailed?

Scott the Stray said...

I believe pmk was saying that mountain bikers tend to be the nailers instead of the nailees.

ak said...

SLCpunk - isn't that strange... cooincidence?

This guy was seriously psycho... or on meth .. or both; it was one of those situations where you dont know whether to laugh or run.

SLC Punk said...

If you're on a road bike, you laugh, THEN run. But only sort of a "heh-heh" kind of laugh, not one that would actually provoke a response.

And pmk: Yeah, mountain bikers get stuff like this:

I'd rather talk to BillyBob and his Nail Gun than Gentle Ben's Teeth and Claws. But that's just me...I'd also rather bomb down the North Ogden Divide at 50 mph than end up hanging from a branch 50 feet above Deer Valley. Again, just me.

SLC Punk said...

Whoops--just realized said triathlete was on a ROAD bike. Disregard the previous smack-talking about USCF wannabes, um, mountain bikers. Coulda sworn the first time I saw that story it said it was one of those wimpy "mountain" triathlons, with the trail running, and the "swim" in the glacier-fed lake, and all that. Pshaw.

pmk said...

slc punk:

Reasons why MTB is way cooler than Road Biking:

1) We don't have to wear those silly 'team' jerseys that make us look like wanabee tour riders (yellow seems to be the most popular color)

2) We don't shave our legs.

3) Dirt is softer than asphalt.

4) A bear is still softer than a car.

5) (Best reason of all) The transition into Telemark season is seamless, since we already have the lungs & thighs in shape.

AK said...

Reasons why PMKs reasons prove road biking is cooler:

1) MTB riders trying so hard to be antiestablishment by not wearing functional jerseys are in fact being trendy.

2) Either do the MTB girls.

3) At least Roadies spend the majority of the ride ON the bike, instead of on the ground.

4) Who wants soft?

5) what the hell is Telemark?

pmk said...


Telemark, (AKA Free Heel):

The sport that all you heel bondage skiers wish you could do.

sarahbellum said...

people, people...please! this is a ski-free zone. remember, i hate all things winter!!!

Mikey said...


Mr. pmk seems to forget that us road bikers are also steeled for telemarking as soon as there's enough snow to skin up the hill.

Although I tend to finish the cycling season on my cyclocross rig, as alas, the rains come early up here in Seattle.

Less than three months until the Official First Day of Ski Season (November 18, 2006). And now that Utah is in my territory, I plan to ski the Wasatch Fronth with impunity.

Free the heel and the mind will follow. Awoo.