How I Know My Brother Loves Me

If Ben had a house fire he'd grab two items before running out the door: his baby blanket, and his MC Hammer/Vanilla Ice album. Seriously. As an afterthought, he may go back for Vegan Joe, his roommate. But only after MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice were safe.

Ben let me borrow this cherished CD last night, with the promise I'd return it in exactly one weeks time. I'm going to listen to the wise(?) words of MC Hammer and hope for Christmas gift inspiration. I have a difficult time buying for other people. Attempting to find the perfect gift stresses me out. Ben, however, is easy. Obviously I'll be buying him a pair of parachute pants.

Not Your Source for Porn

What is it about this time of year that makes people want to search online for LDS porn? Is that the new trend in Christmas gifts? If so, I missed the memo. In the span of two days I've had ten people link to my blog by googling "lds porn." Last year around this time I had the same problem, so I'm blaming the holidays.

Here are some other gift suggestions for your favorite Mormon this holiday season:

Fabric Scripture Carrier---perhaps something in denim this year? It's a favorite among someone somewhere, I'm sure.

A New Book of Mormon, complete with single word change--who doesn't need an updated version?

Or maybe your loved one is political, if so a contribution to the Romney for President fund might be a thoughtful choice.

But if you still have your heart set on something naughty, might I suggest you order the same gift I'm giving my mother this year. I have a feeling she's really going to love it.