Finally Feeling Better

You'd think Daisy would be thrilled I'm feeling better so she doesn't have to share the couch, but here she is on my side of the couch waiting to lay by me. All together now... "ahhhhh." Really, I think she just likes watching Gilmore Girls, but then who doesn't?

Bacon & Blankets

This year for Christmas I gave myself this blanket from Restoration Hardware. It's quite possibly the best blanket in the entire world. I've never had a blanket so soft. I'm positive I'm snuggling under the skinned carcasses of teddy bears. I'm from the country, I'm down with dead animals touching me. As long as they stay away from my digestive system I'm good.

The description on the website says this blanket is "generously sized for cuddling." Which is a big fat marketing lie. I'm not a large girl and there is no way I could fit another person comfortably under this thing. I am selfish with my blankets and like to be covered head to toe before allowing my blanket to tough another individual. Any individual, even a dog.

Daisy seems to think just because she is the same color as the blanket, I won't notice her hair all over it. Once I caught her laying on the blanket, I moved it to where she couldn't reach it while I'm gone. This afternoon when I got home she had found the blanket and was sound asleep on it.

Needless to say, I was pissed. This one-eyed dog who can't manage to pour me a glass of wine or anything useful, can find a well-hidden blanket. Dogs would do anything for a good nap, which is way more than even Ben would do for comfort. Unless the blanket smelled like bacon.

Happy 2008!

A Thief Among Us

First my beloved Disney Princess blanket from Marky, and now the Hello Kitty plush toy Little AK gave me for my birthday.  What's next, my laptop?  

Reminding myself she's worth it!

Cost of trip to vet: $80
Cost of dog pills: $30
Cost of "special" food: $40


Coming home to this face every day:

PRICELESS!

Saturday Morning

Maddie showed up this morning with baked goods and giant latte for me. Rather than do anything productive we settled in on the couch and caught up on some TV. The worst part was my dog got Maddie cuddle time this week, not me! Bitches.

Overwhelmed Much?

I guess I'm not the only one at my house who feels their life spinning out of control:

No Need for a Man

Daisy has a bed on the floor and a dirty laundry pile to sleep on, yet I still woke up to this today:
She is exactly like a boyfriend; She snores loudly, farts in her sleep and steals the good pillow.

Ben's Theory

"Al Gore is clueless, Daisy's ass is the leading cause of global warming."

After which, I'm sure he went straight home and starting researching on the internet how dog farts affect climate change.

Daisy... still Lazy

Thank you to everyone for all the emails and comments checking up on Daisy! She's doing much better. I know this because she ate salad when I accidentally dropped some on the floor yesterday.

She's still taking medications which are re-training her blood to clot. I admit this had me slightly worried at first-- I've never been able to train her to rollover, much less something so difficult. Puggy is still slightly lethargic, but this is easily explained by the fact she's following my lead. After all, it is the Lord's day, which in my house means weekend drinking recovery.

Vet It All Out--Column 8.16.07

To read this week's column for In Utah This Week click here.

Where Winter Sweaters go to Die

Last night I heard Daisy go upstairs. I went up a few minutes later and couldn't find her. I walked back down the stairs and looked around. Nothing. I started to panic thinking what if she slipped out of the house and I hadn't noticed. Frantic, I ran back upstairs one last time to look around before going out to scour the neighborhood. Suddenly the giant pile of laundry on my floor shifted. She raised her head long enough to give me evil skank eye for disturbing her slumber and laid back down and went to sleep. Stubborn little creature refused to the rest of the night. Perhaps I should consider doing laundry soon?

Pavlov's Clinton

My singing & dancing Bill Clinton doll lives atop my fridge, next to Daisy's treat jar. The only time Bill dances these days is when I'm getting Daisy a treat and bump him.

The other day someone was over and pushed the button to see the song & dance routine. Daisy, who was asleep upstairs, nearly tumbled down the stairs rushing to get down. She sat in the kitchen and begged and begged until she was rewarded with a treat. My democrat minded pug doesn't need a bell to stimulate conditioned response. She needs a Clinton --preferably Bill, as Hillary doesn't seem like much of a dancer.

Trying to Quit:

Again with the cheating:

1st Violation: pug on couch. 2nd Violation: pug way too close to the "competition."
That'll teach me not to leave newspapers laying around.

chicken and coffee, it's what's for dinner!

i gave hannah and carter both stuffed daisy dolls for their birthday in february. since then hannah has decided to show her pug love by taking her daisy everywhere she goes. daisy went to target and starbucks with us. hannah and carter both insisted she had her own seatbelt while riding in the car. it was cute so how could i refuse them.
daisy also has to eat dinner with us. when i asked hannah what they wanted to eat: hannah wanted chicken and starbucks and daisy wanted peas. i suspect someone has been reading my blog posts to the little lass.

my version of hungry hungry hippo:

when i complained to daisy's very cute vet that she has the worst dog gas ever, he told me not to feed her people food. being the klutz i am, this is not such an easy task--at least this time it was frozen peas and not wine!

self-esteem in check, yo.

i've just been outsmarted by a one-eyed, fat pug!

for the past two days daisy's been limping around the house. i checked her paws closely to make sure she didn't have any glass in them from the mighty two-buck chuck fall. nadda, but i still felt guilty and gave her a treat. a couple times a day when i felt really bad her limp may be my fault, i gave her a treat. today, when i noticed she was limping on a different paw i suspected she was faking to get food. i waited until she went into the other room and peeked around the corner to watch. the minute i'm not in the room her limp disappears. that little bitch! and here i thought she wouldn't like her new low-fat treats.

why there isn't a second dog in my future:

liar, liar, pants on fire!

remember when i said i'd never do this again? i lied.