It's going to be one of THOSE days.

I stepped into a full elevator this morning and pushed the button to the floor I needed. “That’s weird I’ve never seen anyone do that before,” the woman next to me commented. The man on my other side chimed in, “I thought the exact same thing--who does that?” Self consciously I asked what they meant. “You pushed the button with your thumb, rather than your finger!” At that point both reached forward and pushed the buttons to see which felt more natural. “Ewww, it feels so weird to push it with my thumb,” the woman exclaimed. “I agree. It feels completely unnatural,” the man replied.

At this point I wanted to sink into the floor, but instead pointed out I have crack thumb. They turned to one another, hoping the other would understand what I was talking about. I assured them I wasn’t a crack head, but a crackberry user. They had no idea what I was talking about and started looking nervous. I pulled out my phone and showed them when I’m using it I utilize my thumb rather than my fingers. “Ohhhhh, that makes sense. You’re one of THOSE people,” said the woman, unable to mask her contempt.

Rather than kicking her in the throat, I replied “Very much so, " and stepped off the elevator at the next floor. I continued on the stairs and decided from now on I’m a stair walker. Self-preservation and exercise trump all.