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Saturday, December 31, 2005

buttery salted tears

i saw brokeback mountain this afternoon, thanks to mark for being a good sport and an excellent chauffeur. also thanks to the dealership who sold him a new suv, this means he likes to cart cute blondes around. a brilliant choice on his part, i might add.

the movie was fantastic, though a little long for my self diagnosed (or easily bored) a.d.d., i did sit mostly still for the entire 2+hours. clapping and tears filled the theater. well that, and every god damn seat. i haven't seen a show sold out at the broadway since 1996 or whatever year gross point blank came out.

the man sitting next to me cried in his popcorn. i wanted to hug him. actually, i wanted mark to but i knew i had already pushed my limits for the day!

Friday, December 30, 2005

good-bye, you.

where has the year gone? i can not believe 2005 ends tomorrow night. i wasn't done with it yet. granted, certain things i am SO finished with. others, notsomuch.

2006, just maybe i will finally:
start returning phone calls
give daisy the attention she deserves
realize perhaps patience IS a virtue
finish that book
compile my writing
become a brunette
let ben live his own life
get my internship done
stop obsessing (sure)
visit jen more
have a "healthy" relationship
stop being a flake
accept my age

until then, i will drink, and drink some more. krissy to entertain me, the boys to protect me. party, we shall!

sex gods, i hear you!

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Wear more lacy black lingerie.

Get your resolution here

hmmm....conveniently VS has the semi-annual sale going on now. i remain contemplative.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

double trouble

i was fortunate enough to spend the evening with twins. no boys, not the supahot doublemint kind of twins, the niece and nephew kind.

let me just say toddlers are exhausting, double that and oi! my newfound heroes? not war veterans, but rather parents of twins.

important things to remember while babysitting gigs occur, according to carter and hannah:

1. always wear high heeled gold sequin covered shoes while playing kitchen.

2. never repeat what auntie sarah mutters when stepping in a puddle of spilled juice.

3. eating christmas candy makes for excellent handprints on above mentioned auntie’s clothing.

4. the best way to be rescued from your crib is to scream at the top of your lungs, “WUVSAWWWAAHH”. please note, cuddling her on the love sac also a brilliant scheme to avoid bedtime.

i would like to thank matt and holli at this time for reminding me i am nowhere near ready for parenthood!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

the ugly awards

the bag twins and jessica simpson. some of my favorite "love to hate" hollywood girls! here, is just another reason why.....

they have ungodly amounts of money to spend on clothing. yet, they still manage to look like complete and utter trash!

Sunday, December 25, 2005


merry christmas!
that's right, you heard me. no politically correct greeting bullshit found here.

i hope your holiday was filled with family, good food, and of course presents. lots and lots!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

ring around uranus...a pocket full of posies.

Hubble finds new moons, rings around Uranus

A photo taken by the Hubble Space Telescope shows previously known rings around Uranus.
(CNN) -- New images from the Hubble Space Telescope show the planet Uranus has two additional moons and two faint rings never observed before.

ageless humor. some things will make me laugh, despite my age. the planet uranus will always be on that list. especially when it has rings around it!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

onward, mormon politicians

the romney's are to the mormons as the kennedy's were to the catholics. if first you don't succeed try...try again. mitt for president? no. haven't they been there done that? 1968.

latter-day politics? good-bye abortion. hello prohibition.

Monday, December 19, 2005

"break" job.

he is my best friend, and it will be that way forever,” paris hilton said of her ex-fiancĂ©e paris latsis.

i hate to break up (pun intended) the oh so tender moment, but seriously. who stays friends with their ex? sure casual acquaintances (maybe) but best friends?

break-ups are meant to be uncivil affairs. smashed glasses, shattered egos, drunken text messaging, cheap insults, and most famously--hate sex. if you aren’t experiencing these symptoms then you aren’t breaking up properly.

so paris-- fire your press agent, grab a spoon and spend a night as a "normal" girl.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

gender specific holidays!

last night was the first annual girly christmas party, hosted at my girl pad. the opposite gender not allowed. remember the days of childhood club houses with the no boys sign? well that was our party. complete with too much girl beer, girl chinese (fake meat), and girl christmas specials. nothing says i love my girls like purple flasks. if only they had been glitter....

to my girl gang, thank you for the good times and gift-age. i love you as much as a pumpkin latte (and that is a lot)!

Friday, December 16, 2005


suv’s, a rant.

maybe it’s the extra people out shopping and lack of parking, maybe i have just never noticed before, but whatever the case it feels like suv’s are multiplying.

sure, maybe i am being unfair to folks who live in places where they need 4-wheel drive. yeah, so what? i live in utah and manage just fine in a car. i may be bitter, but i am tired of pepsi drinking, cell phone jabbering idiots in super-sized suv's who can’t manage to drive it faster than 30 mph without tipping it over. move over, i am feeling that need to speed. i am not suggesting everyone buy a prius, zero to sixty in 15 minutes. with the current trend in gas prices and global warming pollution i have set aside my jeep dreams. in reality, how many times do people go off-roading per month? exactly.

i make a semi-apology to those i offend. note i didn’t say anything about banning suv’s, i just said i hate them. a lot.

whew, that feels better….

Thursday, December 15, 2005


thursday. coffee club with the girls. same venue, same drink, same girls.

however, today was a little different. eccentric if you will. aimee(1) wore a camouflage coat, and no she isn't going huntin'. your company party after seven beers when you have a choice of coats you go camo, and really why wouldn't you? when she walked into starbucks wearing her fabulous new coat i hesitated for a moment, only a moment. quickly realizing aimee was being funny, as she often is. shortly thereafter her new boyfriend walked in also wearing a camouflage coat!

please note i am lying. just about the boyfriend part. people --this means there were two people in camouflage in the same establishment...and starbucks to boot!


karma. we all believe in it. some of us (read me) are terrified of it.

i enjoy making fun of things. i am the first to admit, i am not always a nice person. when i see something of interest i tend to point it out to my friends. while everyone does this to a degree, i have turned it into an olympic sport. i should feel bad, i know. unfortunately, if it weren't for karma and the natural retribution it brings i wouldn't. so after a string of bad luck this year i decided it was time to take it down a notch. mind you, i didn't say quit. my mother told me never to be a quitter. i tried, i really really did. it was boring. boring to me and boring to the girls of coffee club. in fact they would joke about the entertainment of the evening. if my karma was already shot for the day we would have a good time, otherwise...well forget it. i can't help it, i really can't. i am a people watcher so i see things that need to be pointed out.

tim and aimee (1) , i blame you.....

the law of karma.....i am screwed.

maybe, just maybe next year i will break the habit. until then... bad luck for me. as i always say....if it weren't for bad luck, i wouldn't have any luck at all!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

merry grinch-mas!

i had planned to stay out of the christmas wars. until today.

i was at best buy purchasing a few gifts. ok, fine i was there picking up some things for myself. so much for the original plan to only shop for others this season. seriously what was i thinking? as i was checking out i wished the sales clerk a merry christmas. the look on his face, yikes! i didn't throw his kitten in a the river. i simply wished him a merry christmas, he stated that he was not allowed to accept that greeting. so, i am not thrilled with the current trend of being so politically correct that clerks are not allowed to wish customers a merry christmas. but i can deal. however, someone not accepting my greeting? i refuse to accept that.

what happened to tradition? christmas trees to holiday trees. what next, banning the reindeer?

Monday, December 12, 2005

cursed, speak no evil.

i have a nasty little cold. yes, still. whoever gave me these fun little germs, may you be cursed with tacky christmas presents.

seeing that i am going to be staying in for the evening i stopped off to pick up a flick. after much debate i made a decision and walked to the counter, where my current blockbuster boyfriend was having a phone conversation with what sounded like a disgruntled customer. as he ended the conversation he shook his head telling he wished all people that yelled on the phone would lose their voice. i smiled pretty and made my best attempt to speak. realizing that i was without voice, he quickly turned bright red. i got a good laugh out of it, that is if i could laugh....

it was well worth braving the cold. who cares if the movie sucks, i got my entertainment for the evening.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

oh no, snot again!

recently a friend told me i was a pessimist. who, me? whatever.

so i bring you positive things about being home with a cold:

1. wearing comfy jammies and ratty slippers
2. chocolate peanut butter shakes
3. watching crap movies, guilt free (dirty love)
4. not having to go outside when it is freezing

see, skippy? i can find the good in things.

bailey mountain

from the salt lake tribune:
Eagle Mountain moves to name City Hall in honor of former mayor

"Anyone [who] will do the math will recognize that Kelvin Bailey was the best thing that ever happened to Eagle Mountain."

what the hell are they putting in the water out there? explain to me how they managed to forget the fact that bailey is a big fat lier? i guess all you have to do around here for some recognition is fake your own kidnapping. bailey reportedly confessed to inventing the kidnapping due to his "struggling with the stresses of his responsibilities as mayor". ok cool, let's name a city building after you. who cares you faced misdemeanor charges of filing false police reports. no biggie. let's congratulate you, and eat cake.

Friday, December 09, 2005

all grown-ed up, sorta....

i have been thirty for a month now. it has settled in, not well i might add. it's a done deal, nothing i can do about it. trust me, i tried. convincing my mother i really wasn't born in 75 proved not only difficult but impossible.

so, i reflect. my life isn't exactly where i thought it would be at 30. remember in our early twenties, if anyone 30 or older came to our parties we laughed inside at them, and sometimes outside as well? well i am that girl. i thought i would be attempting adulthood at this age. finished with school, knowing what i wanted to be when i grew up. well guess what, i am grown. still not finished with school. not living in the burbs with 1.5 children, which i might point out i am very happy about but just kind of expected your life to be there at 30. i have been lucky, i am healthy (relatively) and have amazing friends and pseudo sisters whom i love and adore--and quite honestly coffee club with them is more satisfying than burb life could ever be!

they say 30 is the new 20, if this is true then i am right on track. that would mean this is not a mid-life crisis blog but a rant....riiight?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

come out, come out...wherever you are.

for the sake of there anyone besides my aimee reading this blog?

life blood

i have a bit of a cold-- at first i thought it was seasonal depression, the winter blah's. which i think we are all suffering from this week. anyway, i hate having the sniffles. purple magic juice is the only cure. who needs a hot toddy-- add a little vodka and voila...the best of both worlds!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

hopping down the bunny trail

i just saw this online. how can i not read it?! i am totally stopping by b&n on my way home. so much for my real evening plans.

playground: a childhood lost inside the playboy mansion.

Saginor grew up in Los Angeles during the 1970s and 1980s in the most unusual of places: the Playboy Mansion. Saginor's father was Hugh Hefner's personal doctor and, after his divorce from Saginor's mother, spent much of his time at the mansion surrounded by other powerful men and scores of Playmates. It was in this environment that Saginor and her sister, Savannah, got their first impressions of sex and how men and women relate to each other. Their mother tried to curtail the girls' visits, but when she entered high school, Saginor demanded to live with her father and found herself thoroughly swept into a world where sex and drugs abounded and a typical evening was spent at the club with her father and a gaggle of Playmates. Unable to find the unconditional love she craved with her father, Saginor fell in love with Hef's mercurial girlfriend, Kendall. Saginor is obviously still processing her dysfunctional childhood, which leaves the memoir feeling inconclusive at the end, but the ride is never anything less than engaging.

detailed interview here.

all in the family

Jake Gyllenhaal's urge
December 7, 2005, 4:50:05

Jake Gyllenhaal urges his sister to do onscreen sex scenes. The actor, whose sibling, Maggie Gyllenhaal starred in steamy movie 'The Secretary', has confessed although he cringes when he sees her nude in a movie, he thinks it is empowering for a woman to strip for the camera.
When asked how he feels about seeing his sister in a naked scene, Jake confessed: "It's great

ummm.....okaaay, that isn't at all fucked up right?! jakey-pooh, you have lost points with me. sure, i wouldn't kick you out of bed but i would stop and wonder exactly whose face you were picturing!!


i NEED this jacket!
sugar daddy wanted. only serious applicants need apply.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


baby jesus has gone missing, again. while i don't have a nativity set in my home i would hope that someday if i did people wouldn't steal my jesus. but whatever. jesus has been stolen. i can't decide if it is funny or just plain pathetic. actual opinion to be formed at a later date.

Pastor's nativity scene vandalized in Draper. (KUTV) DRAPER Police are investigating the vandalizing of a Christmas nativity scene in Draper. The interesting thing is, this attack seemed to be by people who knew about Jesus, and wanted to twist the Christmas message. The nativity scene is now back together in front of the home of Pastor Harry Berg and his family. Pastor Berg leads a church in Draper and feels the vandals attacked his home in a way that could be an attack on his religion.

for full story see here.

it's cold. i don't want to leave the house. let this be a lesson to grocery shop before it snows. re-runs of gilmore girls to keep me warm.

Monday, December 05, 2005

who's yo'daddy?

Brad Pitt Seeks To Adopt Angelina's Kids

According to Brad's publicist, the star filed a legal petition in Los Angeles on Friday seeking to change the names of the children to Zahara Jolie-Pitt and Maddox Jolie-Pitt. "We are confirming that Brad Pitt is in the process of becoming the adoptive father of both children," the publicist said in a statement. "No further comment is being made."

brad you can be my daddy anytime, even in that hideous marley-esque hat!!

sneak peek.

the holiday season at casa de sarah is just another excuse to incorporate pink into my place, pug and all.

pug-gyle. just how am i supposed to actually wait until christmas for this? argyle involves no waiting period.

tree compliments of the o'wiley factor. sometimes kidney stones pay.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

chilly 'burbs

as everyone knows by now i hate winter. i complain about it non-stop until at least march. so for those of you tired of this move on now or forever hold your peace.

still there? consider yourself warned....

it's cold! my thermostat is set as high as it goes and i am still chilly. i am almost ready to give up. forget studying. they only warm place is the tubby or curled up in bed. tubby results in wet hair, so in the end i am colder than when i began. scratch that. guess that leaves me in bed. see you guys in april.

i spent the morning with a three year old. the only person or half person willing to watch the charlie brown christmas special with me-twice. linus and his blanket get me every time. i understand that boy. sigh.

the best thing about the suburbs? leaving.

**happy aim?

Friday, December 02, 2005

"bigg"er just got WHITER!

eagle mountain. the utah version of pleasantville. oh, you haven't seen the movie? drive to eagle mountain and live it instead. my brother and his wife recently moved out of eagle mountain (thanks guys!). so i have spent time out there. adorable twins will drag even the most liberal of girls to the center of the mormon universe. **matt, holli--please note i am an excellent aunt for that very reason.** sorry i digress. shit is hitting the fan in eagle mountain.

from the salt lake tribune:
The racial breakdown of Eagle Mountain was listed as a selling point on the Web site of home builder Bigg Homes. The site also included this comparison among others: "Black race population percentage significantly below state average." "Significantly below" was in bold.

view the original bigg home website snapshot here, for the corrected version click here.

sigh...only in utah.

election do-over?

did someone forget to tell john kerry the election is over. why is he still "campaigning"?

watch c-span coverage here. the below excerpts were found on the kerry web site.

Senator Kerry's Response to President Bush's Speech at the US Naval Academy
Excerpts of remarks as prepared for delivery

"I want to start by saying that our troops in Iraq are serving with bravery and resolve of the highest caliber. These are truly some of the most amazing men and women I've ever met. I respect them and their commitment to our country and our world tremendously. And that's why we owe it to them to have an honest conversation about Iraq.

We have entered a make-or-break six month period in Iraq. Our success depends on eliminating the overwhelming impression among Iraqis that we seek a long-term occupation. This perception not only fuels the insurgency; it's the primary obstacle to Iraqis believing that their government is truly their own -- one that they must step up and fight for themselves.

The president says no war has ever been won on a timetable - and I say to him: No war has ever been won with sound-bites. No war has ever been won by keeping the American people in the dark. No war has ever been won without a clear strategy.

The American people and the Iraqi people want the administration to detail a plan to bring our troops home.

We know leading political figures frosunnyni, Shia and Kurdish Iraqi factions, under the auspices of the Arab League, called for a timetable for U.S. withdrawal.

We know a survey conducted for the British Ministry of Defense found that more than 8 in 10 Iraqis want the U.S. to set a timetable for leaving.

The administration is also hearing it from their own generals and senior defense experts in the Republican Party. General George Casey, our top military commander in Iraq, recently told Congress that our large military presence "feeds the notion of occupation" and "extends the amount of time that it will take for Iraqi security forces to become self-reliant." And Richard Nixon's Secretary of Defense Melvin Laird, breaking a thirty year silence, wrote, ''Our presence is what feeds the insurgency, and our gradual withdrawal would feed the confidence and the ability of average Iraqis to stand up to the insurgency."

It's time the administration got the message: because our continued presence is not seen as legitimate by many Iraqis over the long term, the insurgency is seen as legitimate in the short term.

It comes down to this: the phased withdrawal of American forces is part of the strategy for success. Only by offering a clear plan that has the Iraqis standing up for Iraq will the administration finally do right by our troops - and finally give Iraqis the confidence to stand up and fight for themselves so we don't have to."

Thursday, December 01, 2005

sharing, a rant.

“doesn’t it feel good to share?”

as the eldest child in my family i heard that growing up, a lot. so when a friend of mine asked me that last week i regressed into childhood memories. NO, it does not feel good to share! let’s do the math shall we? i have two of something and after i am forced to share i no longer have the original amount. you see my point. sharing is not fun. sharing does not feel good. for the most part sharing just plain sucks.

me selfish? never.